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Get Up…Get Going…Get Something Done

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Get Up…Get Going…Get Something Done

I do not have the words to describe how amazingly appropriate and timely today’s devotional ended up being. Just minutes before, I had written in my journal a cool motivational diddy that had popped into my head: Get up…Get going…Get something done.

Then I opened up Oswald Chambers book, UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST. His key verse for today was “Arise from the dead…”  Ephesians 5:14. Just a few sentences into today’s reading he writes, “…someone may say to you, ’Get up and get going!’”

A coincidence? No. I call it an “Aha moment from God!”

God is telling me to get myself up and out of bed and begin living again. That God is not going to lift me out of the bed but I have to initiate (the willingness to take the first step) the process. God’s power will be made evident to me AFTER I put my feet on the floor.

“God does not give us overcoming life. He gives us life as we overcome.”

Oswald Chambers

In Matthew 12 there is a story of a man who had a withered hand. Jesus didn’t say to him, “Your hand is healed.” He told him, “Stretch out your hand.”

In John 5 a man who was lame told Jesus that he wanted to be healed and so Jesus told him to, “Take up his bed roll and walk.”

That man had no way of knowing if his legs would work but he would not know unless he took some initiative like getting up! Jesus didn’t reach down with His hand extended in order to help him get up. No, this man who had not walked in 38 years had to do it on his own. Jesus wanted him to realize that…

not only had God healed him but that God had empowered him

…to do the very thing that Jesus had told him he could do.

The second principle Chambers addresses is the death of a dream. A dream or aspiration (a hope or ambition of achieving something) that we had earlier in our life but we let it die.

Through God-ordained circumstances, He continually reminds me of the dream that He placed in my heart. Somewhere during my journey, the passion and vision I once had been kindled anew within my soul. My hope is renewed and my dream once again seems plausible. Why? Because I am experiencing the power of God which is compelling me to “Arise from the dead…”

Do I want to be healed?

Do I want to see my dream come to fruition? 

Then I must “Arise from MY BED”  by taking it upon myself to put my feet on the floor willing myself to

get up … get going … get something done!

Do YOU want to be healed? 

“Arise from the dead”  by beginning to do those things that you already know you should be doing.

What is YOUR dream?

“Arise from the dead”  by reigniting and empowering that dream you have held at bay for far too long.

MAKE A PLAN and GET GOING!

Childhood Memories

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Childhood Memories

As my husband Ron and I were exiting the movie theater after viewing, Saving Mr. Banks, I felt an overwhelming urge to write. I was deeply moved as I blended my own childhood memories with a couple of the scene’s that were portrayed in this movie.

Allow me to warn you, Saving Mr. Banks is not a “warm and fuzzy” film. It is the back-story of how Walt Disney ultimately received the rights to the book, Mary Poppins, that finally allowed him to make the movie. It took 20 year’s for Mr. Disney to convince Mrs. P. L. Travers that she should allow him to make her book into a movie sensation.

The author, Mrs. Travers was a  domineering and extremely unhappy woman. I found myself wondering how someone so unhappy could write such an enchanting story?

Mrs. Travers sad and lonely adulthood was shaped by some very traumatic and emotionally scarring events.

THE TRUTH ABOUT MY OWN CHILDHOOD

On the drive home from the theater, I attempted to describe to Ron what it was that had caused me to succumb to the film’s emotional roller coaster. A ride that didn’t stop until the final credits began to roll! During the movie I found myself sobbing during one scene, tapping my toes through another one and literally laughing out loud to something else.

I sensed that the Holy Spirit was attempting to get my attention. When I finally decided to listen He told me that it was time for me to begin working through some of my own painful childhood memories. Memories that I had purposefully buried many years ago. Why did God want me to dig them all back up again? What good could ever come from rehashing the past?

“Why did God want me to dig them all back up again? What good could ever come from rehashing the past?”

Well, with the guidance from Godly therapists I discovered why it was important for me to go back and dig up and examine some of those painful childhood memories. The truth was that

for 50 years I had allowed my childhood memories to define me.

Who I was and who I was not.

What I could do and what I could not do.

How I would or would not deal with emotional situations.

How close I would allow people to get to me.

How far away was far enough to feel safe?

The key question became, who could I trust?

In the movie, Mrs. Travers was portrayed as a sad, grumpy, lonely woman who trusted no one. She had a beautiful home where she felt safe and found personal comfort. She appeared to have been stuck back in the days of her childhood. Mrs. Travers had seemingly no new dream to pursue. She had stopped believing that one day that elusive brass ring would be within her reach.

No, for Mrs. Travers, her life ended many, many years prior.

I sat there, in my soft cushy theater seat, watching expectantly as the woman up there on that silver screen finally allowed her pent-up tears to begin falling from her once steely, cold eyes. As the tears continued to roll down her cheeks Mrs. P. L. Tavers could have been recalling how she, as a child, had never allowed herself to grieve the loss of her father.

Childhood trauma will never heal unless those painful events are brought out into the open. Truth is the gateway to freedom. Freedom from childhood pain, shame, and guilt. Truth is what can set you free. In the Bible, John 8:32 says, “You will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.”

Finally, her childhood memories were no longer being allowed to define her.  The truth had set her free.

God’s Word has taught me that feelings of shame, guilt and unworthiness are all lies that have been perpetrated by Satan. It was time for me to take a realistic look at my childhood wounds caused by being sexually abused and grew up with a mom who had an untreated mental illness.

I was ready to replace what I now recognized as a lie with the truth. My journey, from this point forward, would be centered on knowing and following God’s Truth.

How about YOU?

Is it time yet?

Who Will I Be Today?

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Who Will I Be Today?

METAMORPHOSIS

“A great change in appearance or character.”

Merriam Webster

 

 

 

 

Metamorphosis.

“a great change in appearance or character”

Merriam Webster 

Well, since I began my journey with clinical depression my own metamorphosis has dramatically affected my life. I now live The Incredible Hulkdaily with two opposing lifestyles. One is healthy, upbeat, funny, energetic, a contributing member of society and an enjoyable companion. The other me is overly tired, lackluster, unmotivated, melancholy and not much fun to be around. I don’t even want to be around me when I am in this phase.

What is the cause of this dichotomy? Medicine? Hormones? Diet? Sleep? Circumstances? God? Satan? Family? Finances? Weather? Chemical disconnect? Aging? Escapism? Old habits? False beliefs? Poor boundaries?

Pick one or two. Pick all of them. Pick none of them. I am clueless. I have seemingly zero power or control to stop myself from flipping from one persona to the other. I apparently have no control over how long each phase remains and how quickly or slowly the transformation time takes.

sleeping tigerThe transition takes effect at night while I sleep. It is made evident to me when I wake up. Will it be a day filled with people, errands, a to-do list and a zest for life OR is it going to be one of those days where I have to muster up enough energy just to get out of bed to use the bathroom. Where my eyelids are super glued shut. It feels like my body has been tied down to my bed with huge chains. I become aware that my arms are feeble and weak. I am watching my life in slow motion.

The more sleep I get, the more sleep I need. Do I want to continue sleeping 15-20 hours a day? No. I like my active lifestyle and have no desire to run and hide. Missing events that I enjoy, because I am too exhausted to even get dressed, is very upsetting to me. My mind goes numb and instead of depleting all my energy by trying to think, I realize that it is much easier to succumb to other options like falling back to sleep.

Something is terribly wrong. Who do I go to for help? Family doctor? Sleep doctor? Life Coach? Psychologist? Psychiatrist? Ob/Gyn doctor? I have more medical people on my contacts list than I do friends!

These past few ‘quiet’ days have led to the asking of some good questions but it has also provided a stage for the return of my old mindset’s as well. When I am low, it is a scary time for me because I am aware that my thinking patterns are not truthful or healthy. It is easy for me to get on myself for allowing this journey to take so long. Eleven years should have been a sufficient amount of time for me to have obtained the upper hand with this illness.

The hopelessness of life is real and is easy to validate. It is a moment by moment battle. I am clinging ondark cloud to the hope that one day soon God will finally remove this shroud of darkness that continually hovers over me.

A verse in Ecclesiastes came to my mind and so I started to read what I thought was one of the shorter books of the Bible. Come to find out it actually has 12 chapters! I discovered that rereading this book, while in a different “mind frame,” was very enlightening. God used the following verse to speak to me.

Ecc. 6:12
“For who knows what is good for a man during his lifetime, during the few years of his futile life? He will spend them like a shadow. For who can tell a man what will be after him under the sun?”

This is what God was saying to me. “Why have you been in such a hurry to move on to the next step in your life? Do you not understand that where you are now, growing, healing, learning and becoming mold-able, is EXACTLY where I want you to be. Stop thinking that you will only become useful to My Kingdom AFTER you have finished your current journey with clinical depression and child abuse. I am demonstrating through your ‘story’ how things meant for evil can bring Me glory. Allow Me to change your MESS into your MESSAGE. A message of hope and healing.”

So, bring on year #12…I am good to go!

A Wild Experience

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